who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
