college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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