no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
