I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize