remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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