Walk of Shame. In a state park.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
being pregnant is like rehab
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
