Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
