Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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