I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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