i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
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I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
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I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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