Me. At least after what I've been through.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
