Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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