Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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