I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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