I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
