We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We are all done wearing pants today
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
