the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
