girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
