Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I pour the whiskey from now on
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
