Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize