I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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