saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
