Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
