just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
