That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
