i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
