I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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