There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
