There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
