If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
