But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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