Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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