So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
