my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
