No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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