the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
