talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
