Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
