girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
