Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize