and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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