RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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