Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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