I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Less talking, more tequila
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
