CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
