i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
