i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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