theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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