The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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