RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
