u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
