He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
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when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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