I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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