Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
