When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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