we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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