i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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