"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He kissed a someone with a penis
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
