a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
