sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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