She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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