don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
