It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Randomize