a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
