I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
