she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
